Thursday, June 30, 2016

Thoughts on Turning 55

What are my thoughts on turning 55?

I was really depressed on my birthday and anniversary on Tuesday as I wandered the shopping mall all by myself. My husband had a special dinner planned for that evening, but I was away from home during a nasty rainy day trying to keep busy.

I hadn't been in a shopping mall in a long time. The new styles really made me feel old. I can't wear or even afford any of that stuff. Everything is skin tight and definitely NOT made for a 55 year old five foot tall round woman. I even felt old in the make up store. I don't usually feel old, but I sure did that day. Funny how the birthdays that end in zero aren't too's the ones that end in 5 that have always gotten to me.

Maybe it's because there is no jovial ribbing that goes with the 5 ending birthdays. These birthdays are just ignored. That big number 5 is just floating in the air out there mocking me by telling me that I am another 1/2 a decade older. It reminds me that the world is changing and I am now having trouble keeping up.

Honestly, I feel better and stronger at 55 than I did at 35. I walk every day and now that the kids are not here all the time, I eat healthier. I have worked through some emotional baggage by learning to live my own life at my own pace and not try to control everyone and everything else.  I have learned not to try to recreate an experience, but to enjoy it just as it was.  These things make me much happier and healthier than I was 20 years ago at the same time.

My thoughts on turning 55? It is just the beginning of the next phase. Who knows where I will go from here?