Saturday, December 10, 2016

Holiday Health Scare

I was sitting in my classroom watching the students complete their Monday morning warm up activity. It was a normal day in my first period class. I have 22 students that period. Most of them are girls from the BioMedical academy. A very sweet bunch of kids.

My phone rang. I always check my phone because my room is so far away from the office, sometimes they will ring my cell phone rather than walk all the way from the other side of the building. It wasn't the office though, it was my doctor's office. "Well, that's weird." I thought. I answered it.

I had completely forgotten about my mammogram until the nurse said that there was an abnormality. She told me that the hospital would call soon. As the call ended, I looked up to see several shocked looking students with their hands over their mouths in shock. I knew they were able to get the gist of the conversation. I just walked out of my room. I wanted to call my husband, but he was unreachable at that time. I went to a trusted colleagues room and unloaded in the hall way. After my brief meltdown, I tried to get on with my day.

Four agonizing days passed before the hospital called to set up my follow up mammogram and sonogram. By now it was almost Thanksgiving. My appointment was two weeks after Thanksgiving break. That was a three week wait for my follow up.

I tried to remain calm. I have to say that anxiety medication and meditation were my best friends. I just tried to stay occupied. I went to Thanksgiving up north with family but I didn't tell a soul except my husband and a couple of colleagues. I really didn't want to ruin the holidays for my family if I didn't have to. Plus, if I wasn't talking about it...I wasn't thinking about it.

Finally, the day of the appointment arrived. The nurse explained the entire procedure and then we began. After the first set of images she came back and told me that all was clear. I am perfectly normal. I am just one of those women who need extra compression at mammograms. I was in and out in less than 20 minutes. It actually took her longer to explain the procedure than to do the procedure.

Whew!!

I have to say, a couple of days later, I had a bit of a melt down rant. I am glad that my husband is so patient. However, I feel more like a normal person now.

What did I learn from this experience? You have to take one day  and one step at a time. You have to give yourself permission to feel the feels - even if you don't think you can.

I am looking forward to our next holiday with family. This year, I will appreciate it more.